March 21, 2010
For immediate release. Please announce the following not-for-profit event:
Brazoria and West Columbia Get the Bird!*
In the grand
Texas tradition of the West of the Brazos Communities and after 184 years of
silence, on Saturday, March 20, the city of Brazoria was once again the seat of
a conspiracy for liberation. At Small Town Café, Brazoria Mayor, Ken Corley, and
West Columbia Mayor, Laurie Kincannon – along with a small band of conspirators
– schemed to liberate B.O.B. The Pelican, mascot and travelling mayor’s trophy
for the Battle On Bernard Tug Of War.
Earlier in
the day, Mayor Kenneth Lott of Sweeny had gotten wind of the plot and had taken
steps to protect B.O.B in his current roost at Sweeny City Hall. B.O.B. had been
won fair and square at the 2009 Battle On the Bernard by Mayor Lott’s tug team.
B.O.B. was chained to 3 chairs and a door with a logging chain, and the Sweeny
Police Dept. posted 2 armed guards. Then Mayor Lott, also in great Texas
tradition, issued his own challenge to the conspirators, “Come and take it!”
At
noon, Mayor Lott and Sweeny City Manager, Tim Moss, were lured to Small Town
Café in Brazoria, leaving B.O.B. unprotected. They thought after they had issued
the challenge, that the threat of B.O.B.’s “liberation” was nonexistent They
were wrong.
Mayor Lott
and Mayor Kincannon arrived at Small Town Café at approximately the same time. A
couple of unwitting conspirators sat at a table eating lunch and asked the
Mayors to join them as Mayor Corley and his wife, Sharon, were eating at another
table involved in another meeting.
Mayor
Corley, noticing Mayor Kincannon had arrived, got up and asked her to join him
outside for a private confab. Sharon Corley also slipped out of the café. At
first, no one thought anything was amiss, as Mayor Corley had left a plate half
full of food. Then, right at the
crack of noon, Patrick Webb, president of the B.O.B. organization, arrived and
ordered a glass of tea. After a brief phone call minutes later, Patrick Webb
flew out the café on a mission leaving Roy and Jan Edwards and James along with
Shirlene Pettijohn at the table with Mayor Lott to figure out what was going on.
In a few
uncomfortable minutes, a phone call from Mayor Corley came for Jan Edwards. He
told her that he and his fellow conspirators were successful in liberating
B.O.B. and were on their way back to Brazoria – and to get her camera ready to
record the historical event. But there was a fly in the ointment – Sweeny Mayor
Lott and City Manager, Tim Moss, were still lunching at Small Town Café. When
told this, Mayor Corley taunted them saying, “You need to check your so-called
police department – we just waltzed into city hall and took B.O.B.” In response
to this, Mayor Lott called his police chief and issued an A.P.B. for the bird
nappers.
Mayors
Corley and Kincannon, along with conspirators Sharon Corley and Patrick Webb
deftly avoided arrest and soon arrived at Small Town Café – followed shortly by
a couple of Brazoria Co. Police cars. Mayor Lott was quick to confront the
motley crew, charging them with stealing B.O.B. away from his warm roost in
Sweeny City Hall – further declaring that, “You hooligans know that the only way
you are going to get B.O.B. in your city hall is to steal him!”
As the
confrontation escalated, Mayor Kincannon exclaimed that Mayor Corley had
kidnapped her for this escapade – which she knew could be the only way West
Columbia would get B.O.B.– but that she was kidnapped and was just an innocent
victim in this crime. She held onto this story as Mayor Corley and she were
frisked for evidence. After a few more minutes of “trash talking” from the
mayors, B.O.B. was grudgingly released back to Sweeny Mayor Lott.
As time
winds down to the Mayor’s Challenge at the Battle On the Bernard on March 27 –
the question hangs in the air – which mayor will take B.O.B. home to roost this
year?
_________
This is a tongue-in-cheek account of the
“liberation” of B.O.B. the Pelican – a just –for-fun (or was it?) kidnapping- er,
bird napping.*